Over The Borderline: Facebook is the new Guilt

Monday, September 5, 2011

Facebook is the new Guilt

My therapist and a few other people have said: "If your mother's facebook posts annoy you that much, then why don't you block her? You just keep going back for more."

Well...two reasons:

(1) it is kind of an "early warning system" as to what she is starting to obsess about, and what she is going to try to throw at us next. We have a better idea if it is wise to just flat out ignore her, or if maybe....just maybe...it could be an actual problem ...and we might want to answer the phone.

(2) anytime I sit around thinking "Gosh and golly gee, maybe I am being mean. Maybe I am exaggerating all this...." I can go look at her recent posts and think: "Nope...still bonkers."

And...actually....
(3) I don't have the heart to block her, because that would cause her to not be able to see updates and photos of the grandkids. Since she is working on being helpless, she already only sees them about twice a year...even though she lives 30 miles away. If she ever starts inflicting The Wackiness around/to them, though...the blocks will go up fast.

1 comment:

LaceSeptember 22, 2011 at 3:47 PM
Being prepared for the crazy has got to be better than being suprised by it! I can't say I blame you.
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From the National Institute of Mental Health website

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought to be at the "borderline" of psychosis, people with BPD suffer from a disorder of emotion regulation.

People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.
People with BPD exhibit other impulsive behaviors, such as excessive spending, binge eating and risky sex. BPD often occurs together with other psychiatric problems, particularly bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and other personality disorders.