Guilt du jour

Today's guilt email is sponsored by.... Chocolate: the Comfort that keeps on Comforting.  Have a chocolate bar or 12 today.


And, the Mother writes.... [Kathy is my sister, I am MJ]

Kathy not sleeping and upset from Mj it seems we pass how sick I am and mn says I could do everything just wanted phone call and still do we also need help and Mj saying she is not going to help u don't think it upsets me and stresses when u won't call me or accept my call  we had such a nice visit last mon  I had hope u understood u girls have abandoned me and ur brother. Kathy please call me


Let the chocolate consumption begin!


*******
Here are my suggested responses (which she would promptly ignore):

(1) f*ck off

(2) mj suggested an outing to the mall with the kids,and said she hoped you would be a part of Sammy's birthday.  I dont see how that is abandoning you.  She simply stated we will not do things the doctors say you should do for yourself, and that we will no longer play a part in crying/screaming/obsessive drama.  If you think THAT is abandoning you, then that is your decision.  We didn't say that.  You did.  You are making the choice that we either have to do everything you want, when you want it,and how you want it -- or we are abandoning you.  Your choice.

(3). F*ck off

(4). Any doctor you talk to will tell you that the only reason you are bedridden is because you have decided to be bedridden.  Yes, movement may hurt....but that is part of getting older and you need to do it anyway.  Everyone else does.  EVERYONE has pain and various medical issues.  Doctors and nurses have told you this.  You just dont want to hear it, so you don't listen and remember.

(5) f*ck off

(6) how come after months of being disowned, the ONLY thing that will decrease your stress level is for me to call you?  You broke contact, not me.  I am not responsible for your stress level.  If you need help managing your stress, perhaps you should see a therapist of some sort.  I will help you find one and make the appointment if you want.

(7) f*ck off

(8). Any combination of the above

Hurricane Homegirl

This is [one of] the text message(s) my mother sent to my sister this afternoon.

It is important to note that use of the word "homey" ....uh....I mean "honey" and references to "I love you" are brand spankin new to her vocabulary.  Again, a total change of game play.

Homey I am scared I cant do stuff insane to becauth u Indian u cared iblovecu uvarevonle ones that can grab cats have suuppliesvhsve told u that but undone want us scared have virtually everything ready theyvsaid on news thing Stsrt to go downhill by 2pmhow why do I have to beg love u

Since she didn't speak Crazy today, my sister sent it to me to interpret.
I put into Google Translate and got two possible translations:

(1). Honey, I am scared.  I can't do stuff. [I have no idea] [I have no idea].  you are the only one who can grab the cats.  I have supplies. [I have no idea] but you dont want us.  Scared.  Have virtually everything ready.  They've said on the news that it will start to go downhill by 2:00pm tomorrow.  Why do I have to beg?  Love you.

(2). Yo!  Homey!  I be freakin.  Dis shit be insane like Indian attackin' a white boy.  I be all over u wit love, but u need to git dem pussycats.  I have da goods. But you be dissin' me.  And I freakin'.  It be gettin ghetto bad tomorrow.  You my homegirl!

I think either translation is valid as they both convey panic and unprecedented affection.

A Battle in the War

And the winner is........



....my mother.



After DAYS of bugging the shit out of my sister, INSISTING...DEMANDING...via sobbing voice mails and dozens of pleading text messages that she/we come over because she needed to tell us things "before she went" and/or "before the authorities took her away"....my sister finally gave in and went.

My mother had about 30 seconds of info she told her. Info we already knew.
She also seemed energetic and clear-headed.
She also managed to get in criticisms of "if only you girls would clean this house" (never mind that we have...many times...and it is trashed again in a week because she won't clean anything. Literally.)

Her goal was clear.
She wanted to see If she still had manipulative control over either of us.
My sister gave in and went.
So she does.
And she won.

Someday she will actually need help...and we won't go.
Because, again, the Wolf wasnt there.
She didn't need saved.

Drama du jour

My mother has decided she is dying.
Again.
Or maybe I should say "still."

She has been to two doctors (primary and gastrointeroligist) in the past week....both of whom say she has a stomach virus, and gave her antibiotics.

When she pushes them (making their staff so crazy that they know her instantly) the doctor says "I can't do anything else for you." and then, when she pushes more, they then say: "go to the ER."
She has been texting and leaving melodramatic voice mails for my sister, saying how sick she is, and how she needs my sister's help with....something.

Every Facebook post in the last several days has begun or ended with "so sick" and gone on to talk about whatever she thinks will make her sound the most helpless.

(A mutual friend actually wrote to me yesterday asking if my mother was really as sick as she kept saying. "She sounds so pathetic" she said,)

My sister keeps offering to take her to the hospital if she thinks she is that sick.
My mother flat out won't respond to offers to take her to the hospital...she acts as if it was never said.
Why? Because that isn't dramatic enough....and someone might not remember to bring her laptop -- meaning she wouldn't have constant Internet access.

("I just want to go to a hospital with cable and Internet" was a recent declaration by her. However, whenever someone offers to take her to the hospital, she won't answer....cause a trip to the hospital is not in her current manipulation agenda. It also shows that she is basically thinking of a hospital like a hotel. Cause let me tell you...anyone who is as sick as she is pretending to be, isn't gonna give a crap if there is cable and Internet. They'd just want to be treated, sleep, and get well.)

So...anyway....she is leaving messages (voice mails and texts) every couple of hours or more....begging for my sister to come over and "talk" about stuff that, frankly, my sister either has no information about...or that doesn't need decided right now.

Today's voice mail:
(Note: it is important to read this as if it is being spoken in the most melodramatic way possible. Imagine someone who is working really hard to sound like they are hysterical and panicked...and is forcing out sobs to sound like they can't stop crying.)
"Kathy...please please come over. I need to talk to you about the bills and the IRS and stuff cause even if I don't go right away we need to talk about what will happen with the bills and your brother and the cats....please come Kathy, please come..."

In other words, she wants to give a dramatic presentation.
At this, my sister again offered to take her to the hospital. She ignores that. It is not part of today's agenda.