Today's Obsession Chart

Mother has been working overtime today on Facebook.

From morning to now, her concerns/obsessions are as follows:
(times are approximate)
It is also interesting to note that NO ONE commented on any of her updates. All her Facebook friends are obviously over it.

10:00am: She says she is having "health issues" again today. For unknown reasons she also declares she doesn't want to unpack her medications (you know, the ones she packed in case she had to flee from Hurricane Irene). Also "family concerns" keep her stressed. This of course refers to the fact we are no longer playing her game -- and she has no idea what to do about it.

11:00am: Time to worry about her blood sugar levels. And a reference to the fact that "other people" have made mistakes with insulin shots and, luckily for them, had someone around to call 911. This is not a simple statement. It is a warning to my sister and I that if she has a problem with her diabetes, we will be to blame -- cause we weren't there.

11:00am(ish): Now she worries that if power goes out, she will lose her landline phone.

11:00am(ish)(again): She comments on how other people are without power. Seems relatively harmless until she gets to the part about how some of those people are with family or friends. This is a reminder to us (daughters) that she was not at one of our houses during the non-event (for her) was Hurricane Irene. (She didn't even lose power.)

12:00noon: More comments on how she is afraid to unpack her meds and such, followed by a mention of an earthquake aftershock she didn't feel.

2:00pm: Since she can't obsess about not having power herself, she has decided to do it for unknown others. She says it could be weeks before they get power back, etc etc etc yada yada yada and that if gas stations are out of power people can't get gas for generators.

2:00pm(ish): She now posts several news links about hurricane damage.

4:00pm: She now needs to post about notifications she is getting that street lights in the area are out. Since it is unlikely she is going anywhere, I am not sure why this worries her, personally.

4:00pm(ish): Back to her health. She is getting extremely tired, and hopes it passes, she says ominously.

7:00pm: She sent an email announcing that a tropical storm could be forming in the same place Irene formed. She guesses we have 5-7 more days. Translation: 5-7 more days of a brand, spankin new thing to obsess about.

Email Virus

If your Internet crashed today, it is due to the Oxford Dictionary-sized email my mother just sent to my sister and I.

I would repost it here, except I don't want my friends to read it and then have a sudden desire to stick their head in the oven.

To summarize, she took 2,000 words to say:
"You and your sister are being mean to me. I need help and can't do anythig for myself. The way you have helped in the past is not acceptable. I am lucky we didn't blow away in the hurricane. I can't take care of myself. Other kids take care of THEIR parents. I need help with everything. My friend in Australia says you are going to hell for not helping me. I need full-time care. It is your fault if something happens to me. I need help and can't do anything for myself."

For the sake of clarity it should be noted that this "friend in Australia" has never met her or even talked to her in person. In fact, based on the way this "friend" enables her -- I think the "friend" might be several fries short of a Happy Meal too.

By the way... I am not exaggerating the word count. I put it in my text writer and it counted 1,881 words,
As reference: that is about 5-6 pages with normal spacing.

Ugh. I can't even talk about this anymore.
It was so "batshit crazy" (as a woman on the BPD Family Support Forum put it) that I am mentally exhausted and just want a jug of wine and a 14-hour nap.

Never Ending Hurricane Obsession

A Facebook friend -- who shall remain nameless -- just sent me the best message about how my mother has been over-obsessing about the hurricane (and anything else she can think of).

It was the best thing I've read in days. Truly. I snorted.
I may have peed a little.

"Poor [her] survived the hurricane and is praying for a tornado to pop up in DC so she can have another day to worry."

It always warms the cockles of my heart when someone who knows us both truly understands.

Drama Infinity

For your entertainment (?), I present to you:

A timeline of "Mother drama" for the past couple weeks:
(read as if mother is talking)

* So sick...so sick...need someone to get groceries. (problem solved, when sister went)
...merged immediately into...

* So sick...so sick...need someone to take over the bills.  (We ignored the request, so this begging drama went on for days and then turned into....)

* So sick...so sick...need to tell you important information about the bills.  Come talk to me.  Come to my house.  Can't tell you over phone or in email.  Come over.  (Days of nagging, begging, pleading drama.  My sister finally went and found mother to be energetic with no real info to tell.  She had won the battle of control.)

....but....that "crisis" solved, she IMMEDIATELY started on....

*. Ohmygosh a REAL crisis could happen! A hurricane might come at the end of the week!  Obsess obsess obsess....

...then distracted mid-hurricane-obsession by....

*. EARTHQUAKE!!   Hysteria!  Obsession!

....then right back to....

* HURRICANE COMING!!!  Help...so sick...can't do things!  What if windows blow out? What if a tree falls!  What if the power goes out? What if the cell phone doesn't work? What if...what if...what if...

....this continued for days until about two hours ago, when she can no longer legitimately (?) obsess about the hurricane.  So now we had to FIND SOMETHING to create drama about...  So we have moved onto...

*. Can't stand the dust smell in the house. Need someone to change the filters.  Please come...can't stand the smell...please come...     (WTH?   This isnt just a request, of course.... It is a new crisis.  How does she come up with this stuff???)

....and

* They say trees can fall cause ground is wet. And tornados can still happen in [county far away].

What is next if/when someone changes her filters or she decides to move on to a new crisis?  

It is anybody's guess.

Hurricane Homegirl

This is [one of] the text message(s) my mother sent to my sister this afternoon.

It is important to note that use of the word "homey" ....uh....I mean "honey" and references to "I love you" are brand spankin new to her vocabulary.  Again, a total change of game play.

Homey I am scared I cant do stuff insane to becauth u Indian u cared iblovecu uvarevonle ones that can grab cats have suuppliesvhsve told u that but undone want us scared have virtually everything ready theyvsaid on news thing Stsrt to go downhill by 2pmhow why do I have to beg love u

Since she didn't speak Crazy today, my sister sent it to me to interpret.
I put into Google Translate and got two possible translations:

(1). Honey, I am scared.  I can't do stuff. [I have no idea] [I have no idea].  you are the only one who can grab the cats.  I have supplies. [I have no idea] but you dont want us.  Scared.  Have virtually everything ready.  They've said on the news that it will start to go downhill by 2:00pm tomorrow.  Why do I have to beg?  Love you.

(2). Yo!  Homey!  I be freakin.  Dis shit be insane like Indian attackin' a white boy.  I be all over u wit love, but u need to git dem pussycats.  I have da goods. But you be dissin' me.  And I freakin'.  It be gettin ghetto bad tomorrow.  You my homegirl!

I think either translation is valid as they both convey panic and unprecedented affection.

Alternate Reality

Still in the grips of prime hurricane Irene obsession mode, my mother is posting Facebook updates and/or concerns approximately every 8.2 seconds.
(It's possible I might be exaggerating this time frame. Every 10.9 seconds is probably more accurate. *cough*)

So...today she writes that she hopes her windows don't blow out.
[insert eye-roll emoticon here]
Ok. If a trim limb falls the wrong way a window could break.
But nothing is going to "blow out". Her area will not be evacuated. It is unlikely she would even be flooded.

Of course, this isn't the best part.
The best part is that she wrote she is afraid of a power outage (ok)...and that....(wait for it) she remembers "being without electric for years."

Really?
Years?

When was this? That decade during her formative years when the family lived in a remote shack in the back woods of Ohio, and cooked their self-shot squirrel using only sticks and rocks as fuel?

Please.
She was born, raised, and has always lived in a suburban home with full electricity and indoor plumbing.

And Now We Have to Obsess About,,,,

....hurricane Irene headed towards the east coast.

Thank goodness for the hurricane, though, or she would still be posting constant facebook comments about yesterday's earthquake.

Any disaster is a good distaster, in her opinion. A prime reason to get excited and obsess. Not that she wishes people ill....that is not it. It is...THE DRAMA. Drama is the best way to live. I think it is the only way she truly feels alive.

She checks all the weather forecasts, finds the one that predicts the most severe conditions -- then obsesses on the possible damage.

Out of nowhere, apparently, she suddenly has several hundred dollars ($500 to be exact) to buy a generator. And, naturally, she wants my sister or myself to go out and buy it for her.

She knows we are likely to say no (due to recent "disowning" events), so she added in that she hoped $500 could mean she could buy one for us too.

Now..it is true I'd like a generator. Losing a fridge full of food is never good. And, being an Internet junkie...I think the router might "accidentally" get plugged into it too.
But accept one from her? No. It comes with too many conditions.

If she has $500 she needs to pay a bill and stop constantly posting on Facebook that she is too poor to keep utilities on or buy food.